Why Self Love was so important for my growth as a woman
I spent so many years trying to convince other people to love me. Living up to their expectations, doing what they told me was right, trying to convince everybody but my damn self to love me. I had no idea the years of damage that was piling while I was on this people pleasing binge. After spending a year alone, away from the very people I was trying to please, I had what Oprah would call an “Ah ha” moment. I had spent over 33 years cheating myself! I had a budget for everything including the way I loved myself. I decided to put all that energy that I was giving to other people into convincing myself just how important I was.
Self Care
My first focus was my body. When I say my body, I don’t mean my physical appearance but the actual body itself. I had treated my own body so bad for over 30 years. Filling it with unclean things like liquor and unhealthy eating habits. I changed my way of thinking because I now looked at my body from a different perspective and realized it was gifted to me and I was only going to get one. I decided to start fresh by doing the following:
I gave up pork, cow meat and am currently trying to let go of turkey.
I let go of the way I drank liquor, keeping consumption to a minimum.
I minimized my caffeine intake by not drinking sodas and only drinking decaf coffee.
I added a larger water intake.
I invested in multi vitamins and probiotics to help with my energy, all of that bad eating and drinking had drained me.
I walked my dog at least 3 times a day. I work from home so getting out of the house as much as possible was essential.
I started caring more about skin care. Investing in facial cleanser, moisturizers and exfoliates.
I stopped adding chemicals to my hair and fell in love with my extra kinky 4c texture hair. I taught myself to french braid and protected it’s health by investing in custom units.
It may seem like a lot but it’s crazy how we treat our bodies. If we owned a Mc Laren we would wash it everyday, get it detailed, put the highest grade of gas and oils in it and keep the insides spotless. Why do we treat our bodies lesser than?
Treating my body better wasn’t my only focus. I had to focus on my mind. As an over-thinker, I spent way too much time worrying about the wrong things. I had to shift my focus to other subjects. I got with a close friend and we started listening to different books. We are full time moms, with full time jobs so reading an actual book is unrealistic. There’s no time. I’m so happy we did it because we had other things to talk about. Worrying about outside influence was the last thing on our minds. You can download the Overdrive app and connect it to your local library and read good books for free (you know how much I love free).
Last but not least, I told myself was I was going to continue to do things I love without worrying about how somebody else felt about it. That included traveling as much as I wanted to, dressing how I wanted to and dating who I wanted to. It wasn’t until I started focusing more on me that I fell in love with me. Once you fall in love with yourself nobody can short you on the love you deserve. That includes family, friends and partners. Don’t get me wrong I still have my insecurities, but those are insecurities created by me and not from the influence of someone else. I’m still a work in progress when it comes to my overthinking and I’m constantly trying to control my cravings for a filet o fish meal at McDonald’s but nobody is going to give me less than what I deserve. Learning that was extremely important. When your insecurities outweigh the love you have for yourself you tolerate way more than you should. The stuff I put up with is too embarrassing to blog about trust me. I put up with it because I didn’t know any better. I had no idea what type of love I should’ve been receiving because I wasn’t giving it to myself. I’m in a space where I’m ready to receive love the right way. At the point in my life I wouldn’t have it any other way.
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