Dear Sharniece,
You’re about to be a mom soon so I wanted to write you a letter and hope it helps you further on down the line. That man that you are about to share this child with is going to change your life. There will be a number of challenges with him along the way and he will break your heart in more ways than one. You will probably die without your heart ever being mended from choices he’s going to make later on in life. Although I would like to tell you to wait until you’re married, you chose who you chose and instead of gaining a life partner like you hoped, you gained a best friend and his family will be come your own. Prepare to guide your child alone, although the man you chose will provide financially, you will have to be a mother and father to your baby girl. If you can, get out of Milwaukee as soon as possible. Take a year or two to plan your relocation so that it is successful and choose somewhere affordable. The sooner you move the better education you can provide for your child. Don’t move to the suburb of Wauwatosa thinking that it will be a better experience for her. She will only be surrounded by people who don’t look like her and will feel insecure about who she is and will know little about diversity. Pay attention to your baby girl. There are a few things you are going to question about her that you won’t get the answer to until she’s 14. If you pay attention to the signs you will have your answer earlier on.
Learn to budget! If you master this you will avoid repossessions, disconnections and will be fully prepared for the layoffs and terminations to come your way. When your daughter is 3 you’re going to start a blog. Stick with it. It’s something you love to do. The earlier you start, the better. You’re going to let go of friendships that serve you no purpose and you will have anxiety about it that isn’t worth your time. You’re going to meet and reconnect with people that are going to show you the definition of genuine friendships. You are going to have friends for over 15 years that will flourish. They will challenge you and you will have your disagreements but they will end up being the village you build to help raise your child. Sharniece, know the importance of dental care. Don’t spoil your daughter and let her eat whatever she wants. Your pockets will thank me. It’s going to cost you hundreds to preserve her beautiful smile. You’re going to do a lot of reading and history story telling with your child that will pay off. She will maintain a 3.5 grade point average in high school. Make sure you give her the freedom she needs and create mother/daughter boundaries between you two. This will keep the levels of respect where they need to be. If you cross these boundaries it will come back to bite you. People will scrutinize your parenting style but I’m proud to tell you it worked! You did an amazing job, and the people who did scrutinize you will recognize this as well.
Have another child! If you don’t, you’re going wake up when your child is 15 and wonder why you never had another. You’re going to fall in love with travel. If you can, take your daughter with you as often as you can. The first time you take her out of the country you’re going to wish you had started sooner because she is going to love every minute of it.
Hopefully the next letter I write, will be to tell you how to parent through your child’s transition to adulthood. Take everything into consideration that I’m telling you because all situations will arise and you will handle them all with class and dignity. In a perfect world, you will avoid all of the hurdles and storms that will come your way. In the real world you’re going to dust yourself off and welcome it. Congratulations to you.
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