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Bridal Gang 101 08•19•2019



 I got to be apart of a beautiful union between two friends. I experienced being a bridesmaid for the first time. If you’ve never been married or ever been a bridesmaid/groom like myself, then 9 times out of 10 you have no idea what accepting that title entails.  Don’t fret! That’s why I’m here to try everything first and give you the do’s and don’ts after. 
First things first. You need to go into this experience with the mindset that everything you are about to do is all for the bride and groom. Nothing about this experience is for you. A lot of people accept being a bridesmaid/groom and somewhere down the line the focus shifts from who the wedding is about creating all sorts of havoc. The bride/groom owe you nothing! By accepting the role in this union you are agreeing to take on all that comes with it. 

As a bridesmaid/groom, you are required to buy your dress/tux and shoes. For women you will have to pay for you own hair, makeup and nail care. Some brides, however, provide hair and makeup to their bridesmaids as a gift, especially when they are going for a specific look. So be prepared. You may be apart of a wedding where the bride doesn’t cover anything, just remember she/he isn’t required to. You’re doing this for them.
For out of town weddings (not destination weddings) you will have to pay for your own accommodations. Do not go into this thinking that they are required to pay for your hotel stay and rental expenses. Like I said before, if you go into this getting rid of the word “me”, things will go smoothly for you and the bridal party.
Both the bride and groom deserve a night out on the town before they exchange vows. Although most of the planning will be taken care of by the maid of honor/best man, you need to be prepared to help pay for them to have a good time. They shouldn’t have to pay for anything that night. They may try to pay (like my bride) but if you’re a good friend you won’t let them. 
Below are a few things to remember for the wedding day that I learned from my experience:
  1. Smile. Smile all day long. I don’t care if what surrounds you doesn’t require a smile. Do it anyway. This is includes smiling the entire time you’re getting ready, walking down the isle and at the reception. You want them to have a great selection of pictures. 
  2. Bring a comfortable pair of shoes. You will be on your feet the entire day. After you are done taking pics and sitting down for dinner you may want to switch out your dress shoes for something more comfy.
  3. When things aren’t going as planned, never let the bride/groom in on the issues. Keep it within the bridal party and try and take care of it as a group. Planning a wedding is stressful as hell, even with a wedding planner. Try to avoid adding any additional stress to what they are already dealing with.
  4. Dance.  You will be tired. Let me rephrase that, you will be exhausted, but you still have to show up for your bride/groom. Spend as much time on the dance floor as possible.
As long as you accept your role in this union expecting nothing but a good time you won’t be hit with any surprises. Your bride/groom will have gifts for you thanking you for your participation, but anything else should not be expected. It’s that simple. So, if you are apart of a wedding where a bride/groom covers any part of your experience (hair, makeup, shoes, accessories etc) be grateful! 
Lastly, if you’re reading this with your head cocked while sucking your teeth, being apart of a wedding isn’t for you! If you have a hard time being apart of something that is all about someone else, again, being a bridesmaid isn’t for you. If you cannot afford all of these things talk to your brides/groom about it before excepting and disappointing them by dropping out later on down the line. If they asked you to be apart of their day they want you there and will do whatever it takes for you to be there, including helping you where you fall short. 
With this info in your back pocket you cannot lose. Trust me. Have a good time and don’t forget to SMILE. 

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